It's nice to know that there's someone else out there that's got the same "issues" as I do. For years my Mother always said--go to a group...there ARE others out there like you. But, looking around...I didn't see the same thing. It was never easy talking about my feelings. I think maybe it's easier now because I'm much older. I think it's even easier typing it. My voice still cracks when I speak about it... I still tear up & get shaky. It was ages ago...and it still cuts me deep like it was yesterday. I think I'm more open to it now then I ever was. I don't know what's changed.
I was telling my friend...that I think when someone comes into your life like that...and blasts a hole in your life like that...you never truly heal. Maybe it just gets easier to deal with & think about. But, you never truly heal. I know I block people out of my life ..and I know the reasons I do. I know I push people away that have always been here for me. It's hard for me to admit but I do it. That's all I have to say for now. I've been thinking about this person for a while lately. That's it.