I know this feeling. I've had it before You were the only one "special" enough to make me feel this way.
My stomach hurts, I feel like I'm holding my breath. I'm uneasy... waiting for something to happen. I'm seeing things...not like hallucinating...memories. I'm on my best behavior ... but understand I'm still not scared of you. You might be able to upset my body....but I am much stronger then you ever gave me credit for.
You don't scare me.... they are watching over & protecting us. And you know who 'they' are.
Just like when you came to visit me in my dreams. Even when you stopped my breathing & held me down; I fought you ... I pushed you away... you put all your might into holding me down....just then your head is next to my mouth & I whispered: I'm NOT SCARED OF YOU. Go AWAY! I knew who you were....even with your hood covering your face. I knew who you were!